19/365
I've dropped the ball in one of my jobs; I hate being this person.
Finally DTD last night; 18 days into the new year. I don't even remember how many before. I wasn't mad about it. I wasn't in the mood for it. I was holding onto my anger for him. and I don't knwo why I get like that.
I saw a post yesterday someone said something about how they were working through forgivness. They did a lot of things in their life; but they were working on forgiving themselves because "she was younger then." And I put that in perspective of him; the first time he was 18. Maybe I can forgive that, as much as it hurts. but the second time? 7 years and two kids later? I agree we weren't in the best of places at that time and I can actually not begrudge him wanting to move on with his life. It's the finding someone else before telling me he doesn't want to be with me. It's the not knowing if he's ever going to do that again. and the sad thing is, my behavior is going to be the thing to drive him to doing that again.
Finally DTD last night; 18 days into the new year. I don't even remember how many before. I wasn't mad about it. I wasn't in the mood for it. I was holding onto my anger for him. and I don't knwo why I get like that.
I saw a post yesterday someone said something about how they were working through forgivness. They did a lot of things in their life; but they were working on forgiving themselves because "she was younger then." And I put that in perspective of him; the first time he was 18. Maybe I can forgive that, as much as it hurts. but the second time? 7 years and two kids later? I agree we weren't in the best of places at that time and I can actually not begrudge him wanting to move on with his life. It's the finding someone else before telling me he doesn't want to be with me. It's the not knowing if he's ever going to do that again. and the sad thing is, my behavior is going to be the thing to drive him to doing that again.
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